Fate/Zero S2E1: "The Battle of Mion River"

Alright! The next thing in queue after Tilapia is more Fate/Zero, and also the end of the K6BD hiatus. Since FZ is much easier to process than the other two, I've decided to do an episode or two of it to buy time for my head to clear up more before continuing with the others.

The first season of Fate/Zero ended on a pair of cliffhangers. Arturia, Diarmuid, and Alexander - with the support of at least two of their Masters - are staging a desperate intervention to try and stop Gilles from posting cringe. Meanwhile, Kirei has been convinced by Gilgamesh to kill Goatee Tohsaka and take his place as Gilgamesh's Master. Kirei also got some new Command Seals, for reasons that I really am at a loss to understand. Did he have an unused seal from his time with Hassan that just came back to him now? Maybe?

The topic of how Servants, Masters, and Seals effect each other also makes me wonder if the best way to deal with Gilles might be to kill Uwu while he's busy with the battle. Uwu was just standing out in the open on the nearby bridge the last time we saw him, and Arturia's Master is a specialized mage-killing assassin. Of course, that would require him to participate in this battle, and based on his behavior so far he'd refuse to help out of spite for Arturia. If they did kill Uwu, of course, I wonder what that would do to Gilles? Even if it just temporarily banished him until he found a new Master, it might undo a lot of the momentum he's built up. I doubt the mana that he must have been storing up to create his giant squid-mech would be conserved through such a transition, if nothing else.

Well, without any further ado, let's get back to the squid-killing.


Well dang, my bridge there was almost TOO perfect. We open on a pair of warplanes inbound on Fuyuki City, and their pilots discussing how surreal this mission is.

Also, this means that either muggles CAN see the mobile suit kraken that Gilles summoned, or that the Japanese government has a wizard informant or two. If it's the former...well, I was never totally clear on how much about magic the average person in Moontype knows, but it's clear that there's some level of masquerade in place, and this incident should cause some major damage to it. Like, if this thing shows up on cameras too then the entire world is going to be in an uproar over this incident.

The JSDF pilots exchange some gallows humor about how their role in this story is clearly to be swatted out of the sky to show the monster's threat level before Godzilla shows up to deal with it, and close in on the city. Heh. That joke might have been a little too Babby's First Meta for me, but it still got a bit of a snort, and it established some personality for the pilots. Anyway, they haven't been given orders to start shooting yet, since the target has so far just been thrashing around out in the bay, so they're just going to circle overhead and have the missiles ready until further notice. A reasonable approach to the situation as the Japanese government most likely understands it.

In the bay, Arturia is dashing over the water's surface, slicing off tentacle after tentacle as she speeds toward the main body. Unfortunately, this thing seems to have one hell of a healing factor, and its tentacles regrow themselves within less than a minute of being cut. Alexander divebombs the main body from above in his flying chariot and cleaves open a massive wound, but it likewise starts healing itself shut too quickly for him to make another pass and cut deeper.

On the shore, Diarmuid and Iri watch the battle. Iri notes that they've managed to halt Gilles' approach on the shore, but they don't seem to be accomplishing more than that. Diarmuid sulks about how he can't get close enough to the thing to participate in the battle.

...erm. Didn't they end the previous season coming up with a tactic that addresses this exact issue? Arturia was going to attack from under the water (which seems to have changed to on the water now, for some reason) to distract it while Alexander tore open the main body and dropped Diarmuid into the wound to stab his way into Gilles' "cockpit." So, why isn't Diarmuid in the chariot with Alexander and Waver right now?

Yeah, this is really weird. They SAID they were going to do this. And doing this would have been an even better idea in retrospect, since Diarmuid's red spear should be a hard counter to this thing's healing. Did the story really just drop that whole plan that it showed them arriving at?

On the bridge, Uwu shouts exultantly at the battle and gibbers about how truly he has now seen the favor of God. In a way that almost seems like the author is trying to evoke Al Qaeda or something. I might be chasing shadows with this one, but...I dunno, you tell me:

I'm not at all sure how 9/11 etc effected the Japanese zeitgeist. But, considering that the light novel came out in 2007 and the anime adaptation in 2011...well, if I saw this scene in an American work from that time period I'd be in no doubt whatsoever. Granted, in either case I wouldn't be sure what the story would be trying to SAY with that connection other than "causing urban destruction while praising god is a thing that bad guys do."

Roll OP. It's a new OP, actually. It might grow on me with time, but for now I think I prefer the first one, both musically and visually. Its vocals had more energy, its music more range, and its visuals (for the most part) more oomph. This one does a lot of (very) pretty and high-animation-budget stuff with shadows and lighting effects, but otherwise isn't quite as fun to look at. Eh, like I said, it might grow on me like most of the FMA intros did (though to be fair to earlier me, I still think that "Again" was the best of the lot). Afterward, we reopen on Kirei and his father in the church, trying to decide what the hell they should be doing about the recent situation.

The river has been covered by a thick fog - seemingly a side effect of Gilles' antics - which has kept most of the citizens from seeing too much. But a crowd is gathering nonetheless, and it's only going to get worse from here...especially if Gilles manages to make it ashore. Priestypants (I'm never going to remember his name other than "Kirei's father" lol) mutters that he REALLY didn't want things to come to this, but he's going to have to beg the Mage's Association for assistance. A show of weakness, and in general a major blow to the Vatican's reputation within the occult underground.

Neither of them say the obvious, but it's clear from the body language and expressions that they both (Priestypants especially) are thinking it. This only happened because everyone chose the "betray" strategy when they called the truce half a season ago. Including these two very men, despite being the ones who called it in the first place. Everyone besides Team Rider (and Team Berserker, but in fairness to them they don't exist most of the time) tried to exploit each other's presumed dedication to hunting Giles to attempt a backstab. No one managed to take anyone else out, and now Gilles has grown from a mere nuisance to a world-changing threat.

I'm very curious to see where the story goes with this thematic thread. It's awfully pro-social for what I've come to expect from Urobuchi, so I'm kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop lol.

Priestypants then asks Kirei if he can at least count on Goatee and his egotistical fuckboy of a Stand to make it down to the bay and help. Kirei replies that yes, Goatee and Gilgamesh are already on their way to reinforce the others.

...I started thinking about how Gilgamesh's powerset might change the tactical situation, and realized that they already have what seems like the perfect tool for the problem. Alexander's stupid army-summoning power technically sucks everyone around him into a pocket dimension ("reality marble" I think is the local terminology) where his army can exist, right? Maybe the krakenmech is just too big to be sucked in, but if that isn't actually a factor then it seems like the perfect solution. The masquerade breach is banished from muggle sight into a barren pocket dimension, and the desert environment there would probably be much less favourable to it than the water, so once it's in there it should be an easier fight too.

Eh, well, like I said. The thing is huge, so Alexander having a limit to how big a creature he can suck into the reality marble is a sensible explanation for why he doesn't do it.

Anyway, my prediction is that Gilgamesh will make it rain swords long enough to pin the thing down so that everyone else can get in close and carve their way to Gilles' chamber, and then suddenly turn on everyone when Kirei kills Goatee and try to wipe out the lot of them while they're all clustered and distracted.

For now, Priestypants says he'll handle the cover up (lol how?) and tells Kirei to accompany Goatee to the bay and assist in the battle. I don't know if Kirei can do much to Gilles or his vehicle, but given that he's a trained assassin similar to Gray it's likely that his father expects him to hunt for Uwu. Which he may or may not actually do while waiting for the opportune moment to backstab Goatee, we shall see.

Jump over to atop a nearby skyscraper, where Goatee and Gilgamesh are assessing their opponent. Or rather, Goatee is. Gilgamesh is just sitting on his throne looking bored.

...wait, throne? What IS this thing they're looking down at the battle from? It's not just a tall building like I thought.

My best guess is that either the Tohsaka manor can transform into a mobile battle form, or Gilgamesh stuffed an alien spaceship into his treasury at some point.

Also, Goatee has a sword? I don't think I've seen him carry one of those before, and he doesn't seem like a close quarters combat type. I guess it might be something he uses to cast offensive spells with rather than actually stabbing enemies directly.

Gilgamesh monologues about how pathetic it is that those other three working together aren't able to deal with some disgusting little vermin like that kraken. Goatee...okay, I think his name has finally stuck with me, I'll call him Tokiomi going forward. Or at least, like. Toto. Tohsaka Tokiomi. Yes, his name is Toto...Toto agrees with Gilgamesh, and with obsequious deference and flattery implores Gilgamesh to crush the pest before it ruins more of his gardens below. To which Gilgamesh's reply is - I shit you not - "I'm not a gardener, go find someone less important to do it." Like, those are almost his exact words.

...okay, some of you have told me that Shiki from KnK is a cat in human form. At this point though, I think that Type Moon has come much closer than her in terms of "this person literally just has a cat brain floating around in their skull."

We zoom in on Toto's face, and oh my god his expression of total mental agony and exhaustion is just perfect. The possibility that these "ancient heroes" might be reflections of their summoners' ideals just makes it even funnier; he's looking at what he aspires to be, wishing he could just strangle the little shit already, and lacking the self awareness to realize what this says about himself.

Because like, come on. This is absolutely just an exaggeration of how Toto's been behaving throughout the Grail War so far. Sitting on his ass in his manor, pretending to have a plan for every contingency while sending other people to race around dealing with his enemies for him.

He finally wheedles and begs enough to make Gilgamesh do something about this. And Gilgamesh does do something. He opens his treasury portals high above the kraken, and shoots a volley of projectiles directly downward, letting gravity act on them as they fall so that they speed up to nearly meteoric velocity. Actually leaving burning trails behind them as they fall to the bay and blast enormous bullet holes clear through their target before embedding themselves in the riverbed underneath it.

I'm not easily wowed by spectacle, but this sequence really goes above and beyond. To the point where I'm really starting to wonder if this show's second season had a much bigger budget than the first.

The only flaw with the bombardment sequence is when it cuts to Alexander and Arturia's reactions. The kraken is fully CGI, and while it's pretty good CGI by early 2010's standards it really clashes with the anime characters when you see them right after one another.

None of the opening shots seem to have hit the pilot, and the kraken's regeneration is still working, but it looks like Gilgamesh can just keep dropping his improvised rods-from-god on it and destroy it faster than it can heal. Unfortunately, after landing four hits, Gilgamesh informs Toto that they will now be returning home. When Toto asks him what the fuck, Gilgamesh petulantly scoffs that he's just spent FOUR of his precious swords and spears on this nauseating little pest, which is far more than an eyesore like itself merits. He also, in doing the damage that he did, has proven to the other Servants that he COULD solo this thing if he wanted to, and made them aware of how inferior to him they all really are. And that's all he was trying to accomplish; he really couldn't care less if Gilles wins or loses this battle.

...

THIS FUCKING GUY.

...

Toto begs him harder, telling him that he's the only one who can do this. If he were to just draw his personal favorite sword, Ea the Puncturer, he could probably destroy the entire kraken and its occupant in a single strike. Gilgamesh throws a fit at the audacity of Toto even suggesting he soil his bestest most favoritest toy with the ichor of that yucky squid thing, and threatens to kill him where he stands unless he apologizes right now.

We then switch to Toto's inner monologue, in which he...

Oh.

My.

Fucking.

GOD.

He considers using a Command Seal to make Gilgamesh do it, but he isn't sure if it's really worth it. He only has two of these left, and he was hoping to get another one by being the one to banish Gilles, so if he spends one to do it then this won't net him anything. He grinds his teeth and sweats, paralyzed by indecision.

I'll repeat that in simpler words. He can't be bothered to bring out his trump card to deal with Gilgamesh not being bothered to bring out his trump card. Still with zero self awareness.

...

Okay. At this point, I refuse to believe that Fate/Zero wasn't written with the concept of the Servants' manifestations being interpreted through the lens of their Masters. This scene is just so on the nose that it can barely be read any other way.

I've been told that the Fate franchise isn't very consistent with Servant nature, how similar they are to their living selves, how much they take on from their summoners, etc. This may very well be the case. But for Fate/Zero specifically, it's pretty clear which approach is being taken.

If this came through as strongly in the light novel, then I'll have to admit that Urobuchi did write this aspect of the story extremely well. If it was the studio's tweaking that made it come through this clearly and entertainingly, then my hat's off to them.

...

Toto is saved from having to decide what to do with his Command Seals by the arrival of the JSDF planes. His initial reaction being an "oh no," which suggests that if the Japanese government has supernatural informants then Toto doesn't know about it.

Jump to the pilots again. In addition to the weird luminous mist covering the bay, they spot a strange something hovering over the center.

Wait. Wait wait wait wait.

Muggles can see that spaceship thing that Gilgamesh and Toto flew out here on?

W...why would they be flying it over a densely populated urban area if normal people can see it? Isn't the whole point to eliminate Gilles while causing as little masquerade breach as possible?

Is it only visible from above, or something? That could work, since this story is set in the nineties when satellite cameras weren't nearly as much of a thing yet. But if so, that's something that REALLY requires textual explanation.

One of the pilots says that he's going to fly into the mist bank to have a look at the mysterious object - said by earlier witnesses to have been a giant monster - at its center. The other warns him not to do it, but he goes in anyway. Before he can get a good look at the kraken mech, it reaches up with its tentacles and...okay, Urobuchi, if the tentacles were fast enough to catch a fighter plane mid-flight then there's no way this thing wouldn't have finished dragging itself to shore before Arturia and Alexander could close with it.

Eh. If you say so, story. I guess.

The plane is dragged into the kraken's mouth, and Gilles' deranged laughter echoes out across the bay for all to hear. Does his kraken have built-in speakers or something? It kinda seems like his kraken has built-in speakers, and somehow that's even more hilariously absurd to me than everything else about this sequence.

Somehow, despite being fast and strong enough to grab a harrier out of the air, the kraken isn't able to crack the fuselage after drawing it into its mouth. So, the pilot is still alive inside the plane's cockpit, and still transmitting over radio that there's a wall of viscous flesh dotted by a million eyeballs and teeth pressed up against his canopy. This prompts the other pilot to bring his own plane in for a bombing run, despite the lack of orders to that effect. He dive bombs the center of the cloud and...okay. I guess if he's trying to rescue the first plane then it might make sense for him to not shoot until he's close enough to see the target himself, but...everything about this is making me feel like the creators just don't realize what contemporary weaponry is capable of. Anyway, the second plane divebombs, but before it can get close enough to see what's going on the Berserker suddenly teleports onto its back. Holy shit, Berserker exists!

Also, that's some crazy precision teleportation. Can Servants normally jump onto the back of something moving that fast at that distance, or is this just more phoning it in with regards to "how do warplanes work?" I suspect the latter.

Anyway, the Berserker turns the plane into an improvised weapon using that touch-reinforcement noble phantasm that we saw them use once before.

Apparently this also lets the Berserker take control of the plane's subsystems. They bring it up from its charge on Gilles' krakensuit, and instead come in for an attack against the Starship Toto.

Aboard the ship, its namesake identifies the Berserker, and realizes that Daisy must be taking this opportunity to try to kill him while he's away from his magically fortified manor house. I'm...not at all convinced that this WTF spaceship thing is easier to assault than the Tohsaka manor, but then Daisy isn't exactly in the most clearheaded state. Toto asks Gilgamesh for permission to leave the ship and go deal with Berserker's Master wherever he's hiding in the city below.

I'm not sure how Toto plans to locate him; given the range he's sending Berserker from, he could conceivably be anywhere near the urban waterfront. Regardless, Gilgamesh sighs and tells him that sure, any reason to be rid of his pompous ass for a few precious minutes. The feeling is mutual.

Also, Toto is carrying a weird cane/stave thing, not a sword. Okay, that makes more sense. The silhouette before just made it look like a sword in his belt, rather than a staff clutched in his hand at waist level.

He jumps off the side of the ship. I remember from the one episode I saw of Unlimited Blade Works that one of the Tohsakas' signature spells is a long jump/slow fall type thing (I think Rin used it to leap off the top of a tall building to escape the Lancer), so this is a nice bit of continuity. Meanwhile, the Berserkerplane comes to bear on Gilgamesh's spaceship and fires its missiles. The missiles continue to be covered in that red-black reinforcement effect even though Berserker is no longer touching them, strangely. I guess their power works on projectiles even after they've been fired; wonder how long it sticks to them. Gilgamesh tries to shoot Berserkerplane down with more rods from god, but he can't really hit a fast-moving target with dumb projectiles that need acceleration time. So, he opens the ship's wings into all-range-mode (seriously, this actually happens) and begins evasive maneuvers, the missiles in pursuit.

Okay, is this ACTUALLY supposed to be an alien ship that Gilgamesh or Toto stole or excavated or something? Aside from the archaic throne built into its back, everything about it looks futuristic/technological. And it apparently has a heat signature, if those missiles are tracking it.


Halfway point in the episode, and already at almost four thousand words. First time that's happened to me in a very long time. I'll split it here.

This fight scene is sooooooo stupid oh my god