Fullmetal Alchemist: Conqueror of Shamballa (part three)

Where we left off, Edward had sent Noah home and surreptitiously crept after the car carrying either King Bradley (Pride in this verse, rather than Wrath), or his Earth counterpart who may or may not also be a homunculus war criminal.

From the outset though, it's notable that Earth!KingsleyDukerton is riding in a car with just a driver and no other attendants or guards, and no one on the street is paying him any mind. True, the Amestrian version of him was fond of sneaking out of the capital complex on his lonesome, but this doesn't feel quite right for that either. I'd expect Earl Seismicock to go out either totally incognito without an open-topped vehicle and driver, or with a full motorcade; this is a half measure that feels unlike him. Then, again, if this is actually the Amestrian homunculus and not an Earth doppelganger of his, he may just have limited resources in this reality. Hmm.

Anyway, as the sun sets, the car drives out of the city and along a forest road. Somehow, Edward managed to get ahead of the moving vehicle and set up an ambush for it. No idea how. If his alchemy worked on Earth I'd have assumed he used an earthbending trick or something, but it doesn't, so I really don't know how he's supposed to have managed this. He plants some debris in the road ahead of the car, and when the driver gets out to move it Edward jumps out of hiding and knocks him out before cautiously approaching the Murderous Master Mustache with the unconscious man over his shoulder.

Um. What?

The man who looks like FMA03 Pride is remarkably nonchalant about what just happened. He simply watches in silence as Edward dumps his unconscious driver across the front seat and waits for the assailant to say or do something else. Okay, yeah, that's not a normal reaction; whatever this guy is, he's not just a hapless lookalike.

Then Edward adresses him out loud as King Bradley and starts demanding to know what's going on here.

...okay. Unless something happened in the course of the series that caused Bradley to get massively depowered, I can't imagine Edward being this stupid. If Edward is sure that this really is Pride, why the hell would he try to confront him head-on, without witnesses? Is he just *assuming* that homunculus powers don't work in this world because his own alchemy doesn't? That's a really, really hairbrained assumption to make. Not to mention that whatever other powers 03-Pride might have, King Bradley's skill at personal combat was displayed before the 03 and manga versions diverged. There's no possible version of FMA in which the Big Brad Wolf isn't an extremely dangerous fighter who Edward would be downright stupid to try to match CQC skills with.

It turns out that this isn't Pride, though. He has no idea who Edward is, or who this "Lord Emperor President Rex Jenny' person he's asking about is either. When Edward glares at his eyepatch (or...actually it's just a tinted monocle. It looked like an eyepatch from afar) suspiciously, he raises it to reveal a blind, but normal looking, human eyeball underneath it.

Edward apologizes, and sits down in the backseat of the car next to him without being invited. Which not-Pride reacts to with a good natured chuckle and a question about mistaken identities. No sign of fear, or even discomfort.

-_____-

I can't believe Edward would act like this if he really thought this person was Pride. I also can't believe that not!Pride (assuming he truly is just a normal Earth guy) would react like this to some crazy teenager jumping out of the woods and beating up his chauffeur.

Then, not!Pride...oh WOW this is some terrible-ass writing...he just patiently tells Edward that he's used to being the target of attempted hate crimes. Being a wealthy Jew, he's in exactly the ethnic-economic group that blond-haired German firebrands have been most hostile toward.

O...kay. Two more things I need to comment on here. One Watsonian, one Doylist.

1. If patriots like to attack rich Jews, and there's at least a possibility that this (seemingly) violent and delusional young man doesn't know that he's Jewish, why the fuck would he be happily volunteering that information? Mentally ill young men are EXACTLY the people most likely to get influenced by fascist propaganda into going out and doing violent shit. This guy should be doing everything he can to draw attention away from the traits that make himself a likely target, because anything could potentially set Edward off again, and in this time and place "I'm a rich Jew" is more likely to do so than almost any other combination of words.

2. I'm really, really narrowing my eyes the decision to make Magic Kung Fu Hitler's earth counterpart a Jew in Weimar Germany. So far, this movie has done a superb job at portraying the plight of persecuted minorities amid the rising tide of fascism, and then all of a sudden this...why? Just why?

On one hand, I can see some possible thematic value in doing this. I forget the name of it, but there's a concept in the field of social justice that amounts to "assume you could just as likely be born into any stratum of society, and judge the quality of that society accordingly." One timeline's genocidaire could be another's holocaust victim, etc. Buuuut, it's kind of hard to say that the movie is doing that after we've been introduced to Officer Hughes and his wife. Meanwhile, just going by the presentation with the fakeout and reveal, it seems like this inversion was just there to be shocking, which given the subject matter I can't help but find a little tasteless.

...

Really, this kind of raises a tonal issue I'm starting to have with the movie as a whole.

In the context of a shonen fantasy series, "magitech-Hitler genocides the animu albinos" is some pretty heavy subject matter. Especially since, aside from the "weapons" used to carry out the genocide, the whole affair was given very realistic and convincingly faux-historical treatment, and the story treated it with full seriousness.

But, when you juxtapose it against the real life genocide of real life people, it loses all its gravitas and becomes almost whimsical. I can take homunculus Hitler seriously in his own world. I can't take him seriously when you put him in the same time and place as actual Hitler.

Frankly, a bit of that dissonance has been haunting the movie from the beginning. Noah's magical-ness is very low key, not too far removed from reality. A Roma girl who can see occasional glimpses of people's backstories trying to survive betrayal and persecution on the streets of 1920's Germany hits juuust about as hard as a Roma girl who lacks that power in the same situation. It feels real. It feels historical, despite the touch of magical realism. And then all of a sudden you have this waifish teenaged manlet beat up three hulking, gun-toting militiamen with the help of his robot arm and a cartoony rocket trick, and we're back in shonen land. Like Edward is carrying this bubble of unreality around himself that sucks the grit out of the setting wherever he goes.

...

Jewish Not-Pride asks Edward if he can drive, and asks him to please take over for the chauffeur he knocked out until said chauffeur wakes back up. Because that's something a person would do in this situation. Edward reluctantly obliges.

This was easily the worst scene in the movie so far (disappointing, given how effective the buildup to it was). Nobody's actions made even the slightest bit of sense. Practically every line of dialogue had a glaring flaw in it. Before even getting into the highly questionable recasting decision.

Cut to a country mansion, where Alphonse and the rest of the rocketry team are demonstrating a scaled-up version of their engine for their prospective patron. Said patron is impressed. Both by the rocket engine, and by some more innate qualities that the engineers happen to share.

They're told that Director Ekhart will be very pleased to hear about this, and might want to meet them in person soon. Okay, they still aren't talking to the main man yet, just other proto-nazi higher ups. Just then, the man who was hosting them gets a whispered update from one of his mooks, and his expression goes serious before turning excited.

Erm...enjoy your snek, I guess?

In a more comfortable part of the mansion, a gaggle of very well dressed fascists talk excitedly about how they've finally located the damned Serpent. The mustached guy who had been watching the rocket demonstration hurries over and asks if they have any witnesses yet, to which he's told that they do. Soon, they will be able to reach Shamballa.

Also, the person identified as Director Ekhart looks like this:

Not sure if anime bishie boy, or woman. In either case though, this is a photo of Dietrich Ekhart taken from around the same time as this movie is set:

Either he's been using black magic to reverse his aging (granted, the photos I could find of a younger Ekhart don't look anything like the person in the movie either), or this is a completely different - probably fictional - Director Ekhart.

Anyway, "Shamballa." I googled it to see if it was an actual thing from Germanic occultism, and...sort of. Apparently, it's an alternate spelling of Shambhala, a heavenly kingdom associated with an apocalyptic battle between good and evil in some esoteric sects of Buddhism. Definitely sounds like the kind of thing the Thule Society would decide is actually talking about the salvation of the Aryan race or whatever. I'm guessing the serpent they're talking about is some weird interpretation of the World Serpent that they've tied in to this; it's got similar apocalyptic associations.

Hmm. They said they needed Noah to reach the serpent. Now they're saying they've already found it without her. Hmm. Maybe there are two stages to the process of reaching/summoning/whatever the snek.

Ekhart gives the order, and a plane takes off from her mansion. Or...actually a whole bunch of planes, that she had stashed in her house, somehow. They circle around under the moon ritualistically, like ghost girls about to be stabbed apart by Shiki.

It even has a creepy opera-ish musical background. In before Antifa Shiki.​

The ritual for summoning the serpent requires dancing in a circle under the moon, but like, at an altitude that necessitates aircraft? I guess? What does this have to do with a "witness" having sighted the snek, though? I'm having trouble following this.

Well, if nothing else, Edward no longer seems to be dragging the cartooniness around with him. We're now fully in the whacky fantasy adventure version of the interwar/WW2 era. On one hand, Edward's existence should feel less dissonant going forward, with this as his backdrop. On the other hand, if this does continue, it's just going to become Noah and her painfully realistic treatment by Weimar society who feels out of place in this movie.

Cut back to Edward, driving Melech Bradstein through the forest. Melech tells him that this might be a boon in disguise; a strong, violent young man like Edward might be a better companion to have along for this trip than the now-unconscious guy he had before. When Edward asks him why that might be, Melech says that it's because he's looking for a dragon, and if he finds it there's a chance it might prove to be a dangerous dragon. Um. Okay? Apparently, there have been increasingly credible sightings of this dragon around this old castle in the forest. Well, "dragon" might not be exactly accurate. From what Melech has heard from eyewitnesses, it could probably be more accurately described as a giant snake. Either way though, he's headed out with a bunch of cameras and big electric lights and such to find and hopefully photograph (or, better yet, film) the beast.

Heh. Is the World Serpent the nazis are after just roaming around this random castle near Munich? Awfully convenient for them, heh. Maybe it's a different snek? Doubt it, but it would be funny heh.

They reach the big crumbling castle (notably NOT the same castle that the Thule society is meeting at, just to be clear), where Melech seems to have a bigger film crew waiting. Or, maybe they're not a filming crew, just some other randos looking for the snakedragon. Hard to tell. Some of them are armed, but they don't look military or militia, and they seem to recognize Melech (or "Mabuse" as he now introduces himself), so I think these ones might be hired security. Makes sense; you don't go dragon-hunting without some big game rifles just in case, heh.

...you know, if Mabuse is so used to getting hate crimed at this point, you'd think he'd have had a couple of those armed guards with him in the car? Ah well.

Hmm. They may not be associated with Mabuse after all, it seems. It's only he and Edward who actually enter the castle, none of the other people (armed or otherwise) follow them. Edward with a flashlight and (with some reluctance) a pistol that Mabuse hands him. Mabuse with a box full of cameras and camera accessories.

You know, if Mabuse had a gun this whole time, I'm really surprised he didn't pull it out when his car got attacked.

Also, him trusting Edward with a GUN now is pushing my SoD even further than this sequence had already pushed it. Character motivations have just completely gone out the window at this point.

...

To be fair, this is much more along the lines of what I expected Conqueror of Shamballa's writing to be like. Just, the first twenty-odd minutes were much better than that, so it's a little disappointing to see it now.

...

After a while, Mabuse stops to set up the camera and sends Edward on ahead into the castle to...um...aggro the dragon and get it to chase him in front of the camera? Maybe? I have no idea how this operation is supposed to work. Frankly, this whole sequence would make more sense if Mabuse really was Pride pulling an elaborate ruse for some reason (though that would still leave Edward's behavior as totally nonsensical, it would at least explain some of Mabuse's). As he ascends a staircase into one of the castle towers, Edward trips. Holding up his flashlight, he sees that the reason he fell was because of severe wear-and-tear of the steps. Not the kind of wear you get from just natural erosion and longtime foot traffic, though. It looks more like the steps were cracked and crushed by a single, massive object.

A giant dragon-snake is starting to look awfully plausible. That looks just about how I'd expect stairs that have had a ridiculously heavy, tough-scaled snake use them.

Edward gets back up and ascends the stairs, keeping to the edges where they're less damaged, and keeps his pistol at the ready. I really don't think that little handgun is going to help much against a creature the size of what this structural damage implies, but I guess it's better than nothing. He reaches the room at the top, peers around to check for dragonsnakes, and then hears a voice calling his name.

A familiar voice. I know quite a few voice actors reprised their FMA03 roles when Brotherhood started casting, and apparently Envy's was one of them. It sounds like Envy. It intones Edward's full name the way Envy typically does. Either Envy managed to cross through the portal to Earth and has been taking the form of a giant dragon-snake for whatever reason, or Envy has an Earth counterpart who just happens to be a giant dragon-snake. Granted, if it's the latter I'm not sure how she'd know his name. So, after the fakeout with Edward mistaking Mabuse for Pride, he's now stumbling into an actual Sin that's followed him from Amestris.

Or that he's followed from Amestris. It could have happened in either order I guess, heh.

Edward thinks he recognizes the voice as well, going by his expression, but he isn't sure of it until the giant dragon-snake lunges down from the ceiling and starts chasing him through the castle, smashing stone walls apart as it lunges after him roaring his name in a hateful fury.

They recognize each other aloud, now, as the children of Hohenheim. I don't know exactly what role Hohenheim ended up playing in the 03 series but I was spoiled on Envy having been created from an earlier son of his who died or something. Which...kind of means that Envy fills the spot on the family tree taken up by Father in Mangahood, even though the mastermind villain role went to someone else. It's sort of funny how the 03 writers happened to get it almost-but-not-quite right seemingly just by coincidence, heh.

Also, I should probably call this version of Envy "he" then? Maybe? I went with female pronouns in Brotherhood because of the obviously female voice, even if they/them would have probably been more accurate. Envy still has that obviously female voice in this version, but being made from a dead boy...I guess I'll just go with they/them this time and call it a day.

Envy seems to hate Edward for being a child of Hohenheim's, specifically. Which I guess might tie into their deal in this version. Envy's envy being particularly focused on their still-human siblings, for still being human. Or just hatred of Hohenheim and a desire to destroy everything connected to him with the (possible) exception of themself. Something along those lines.

This giant snake form doesn't seem very optimal for catching Edward in this environment, as he's a lot more nimble and able to hide in or traverse the castle terrain. Despite being faster in raw terms, the dragon-serpent is having trouble keeping up with him in these conditions. I'll take this to mean that either Envy's shapeshifting powers don't work in this world for the same reason that Edward's alchemy doesn't work, or that Envy somehow lost their shapeshifting and got stuck in this snake form in the 03 series before crossing over.

Envy does, eventually, manage to snatch Edward in their jaws and start biting down. Edward's automail limbs let him hold the fanged jaws open for a little while, but it's clear that he can't manage it forever. Just as it seems like it might be game over for Edward, those nazi airplanes stop doing their moondance and swoop down to start peppering Envy with bullets.

Okaaaaay. The Thule Society or whoever having some private aircraft, I can easily believe. Those aircraft having what appears to be contemporary military standard armaments, I'm having a much harder time with. While they certainly have friends/members who are still in the German military and could conceivably suborn an air division for them once in a while, we specifically saw these planes take off from Ekhart's private property. Weird and dumb decision for the movie to have made, when it could just as easily have not shown where the planes came from and let the audience draw the much more obvious and reasonable conclusion.

Also the scale is hilariously fucked up in this shot lol:

Either those are little toy planes being animated by Teutonic sorcery, or the leading one is flying literally one foot above the ground.

It turns out that Envy's regeneration isn't working any better than their shapeshifting, so the bullets do real damage that sticks. They drop Edward, thrashing in pain, as the planes make pass after pass.

Huh, turns out they really were flying just one foot above the ground. One of the planes just outright smashes itself into a twisted wreck against the stone flooring because of this, while the others manage to just-barely bring themselves in for a landing that doesn't totally destroy their landing gear. Okay, the scale in that shot wasn't actually fucked up, the pilots are just even crazier than you'd expect these people to be!

As Edward tries to figure out who the hell THESE people are now, a full sized airship flies overhead, a harness dangling underneath it. The purpose is obvious. Envy's thrashing is mostly ended when the men who exit the planes and rappel down from the zeppelin shoot them full of harpoons and pull them taut.

Edward is once again attacked by a trio of Thule Society goons. These ones have the drop on him though, and holding Envy's mouth open has already done a number on his automail.

Well, Edward is now longer dragging the cartoon unreality bubble around himself. However, that bubble has simply grown to subsume the whole setting now, and simply doesn't need him any more. Which...if the movie had been more like this from the beginning, the dissonance wouldn't have been so bad in the first place, but I guess maybe better late than never? Maybe?

What the fuck is Noah doing, right now?

I'll call that a post. Conqueror of Shamballa is starting to shift from "weird, but good" to just "weird." Hopefully it bounces back.